Dreaming in Anxiety-Laced Technicolour

Here's a little something no one tells you about when you get engaged: You start to have wedding anxiety dreams. Lots of them. And they're really really vivid. Mine started before we got engaged actually.

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One of my first anxiety wedding dreams was that Dan and my mom surprised me with a wedding. They picked my dress, the venue, everything. Our wedding was in a bar complete with football motif tiled bar height tables, plastic flowers, and some sort of god awful arch covered in tulle, twinkle lights, and more plastic flowers. I remember waking up and thinking, "Wow, that was strange..." Clearly I don't trust Dan or my mom to create the wedding of my dreams. That and I'm a control freak and readily admit to it.

Lately I've been having one recurring theme in my dreams: we keep forgetting wedding bands. And not just "we forgot them at home", it's "we couldn't be bothered to buy them". Whoopsies! So obviously I've been harassing Dan to no end to meet with the jeweler and order my band, as well as get himself sized so we can order his from Etsy!

Other themes I'm apparently paranoid about: Plastic flowers or my flowers being ugly (which I know is clearly not going to happen since our florist is amazing), the wrong music being played during the processional, and forgetting to do our photos and first look before the ceremony. For some reason this stuff doesn't bother me in my dreams and I always just roll with it and enjoy the wedding. Perhaps this is my anal-retentive side and my "I know things are going to go wrong but all that matters is that Dan, the officiant and myself show up"-rationality duking it out.

However, when your subconscious gives you lemons, make lemonade. I usually itemize all the things that "went wrong" in my dreams to create a list. Happy day!

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So if in my dream my caterer forgot the dessert and we were trying to figure out how to split 60 cupcakes amongst 150 guests, I realize that I need to get working on more ideas for the dessert buffet. Forgot the first look and pre-ceremony photos? Start working on my time line for the day!

I know that as time goes by, I'll have more and more of these dreams, but it's just that. A dream. Fictional. Not reality. I know that things are going to go wrong on our day but I know that I'm most likely going to be the only one who notices. We have amazing vendors and friends who are not going to let us down. Because of that, we'll have an amazing day that's perfect for us.